Confession No. 21: I am a Bit Slow

I am 53 years old and it has taken me this long to just begin to start figuring things out. You may agree with me that I am a bit slow getting to the game. Over the past half decade, I have surrounded myself with great mentors for my business, spiritually, physically and personally. Some are well known, like the the words of the late Jim Rohn, in my own company Roger Barnett, Gary Burke, and the organized mind of Zal Fink. I listen to word of the day by John Maxwell, now leaning spiritually to Joel Osteen weekly, a nice mix of mentor and spiritual guide, and someone that may not know how much she coached me, Lou Ann Salmon in Kentucky, I am in awe of her calmness and patience. Physical mentors are now a huge part of my life. In our company Laura Evans with her huge transformation, that shook me up, Jenni Oates, Jackie McCoy from Extreme Makeover and Harley Pasternak, trainer to the “A” list and knows why we are different and of course our Performance team of Olympic metal winning athletes. In addition I have my Pilates /Yoga instructor, Lydia and my love affair with my Total Gym in my home office. This is actually used, no longer a dust collector or clothes hanger. My sister and my friends are active women that always inspire me to look good at every age. Recently I have become aware of a few people who have been around me, but have looked beyond, because it meant looking in the mirror and I wasn’t ready. One from my past, she and her husband are personal trainers, but she is so much more. Besides being a great mom and wife, she is a writer and inspires and adds value to people’s lives daily. She is one person that looks better now than when I first met her when our kids were babies. She doesn't know it but she got me into network marketing, still have the Pampered Chef stuff she sold me years ago. She was dedicated to her family in everyway, even by fullfilling her dreams by staying home raising her kids. I would be still hanging out with Ginger Calem, if we didn’t live three states away! So grateful we met so many years ago. I got into the Health and Wellness industry back in 2009, because I had no energy, my life was out of balance, I wanted a way to help others and my family at the same time. I was aging, my hormones were out of whack and I wasn’t eating right. I wanted an easy way for a busy mom to stay home with her kids, protect the environment and show by my actions. I did not have the time to make my own detergents, soaps and lotions and I am a big believer in the power of one. It starts by one person picking up the piece of trash someone discarded. People are watching, seeing if you are doing the right things, when not expected or for a selfish motive. I am a proactive type, I don’t believe in waiting until I get sick to make my family pay the price for my inaction. The first three years, I was in survival mode, trying to make money, pay bills, salvage a doomed marriage while trying to be a good mother. The last thing on my priorities was myself, too many restaurants and lack of commitment. Exercise was my achilles heal, sporatic at best, excuses were my modus operandi. This is where I was a bit slow, we aren’t talking snails pace, we are talking the changing of the Grand Canyon slow. Yes, I know I am even slow getting to the point here…this past summer I was sitting in the MGM Grand Garden Arena with a few thousand of like minded people being told by my new football tossing buddy, Dr. Jamie McManus (Dr. J) that looking out to all of us, we could stand to get to a healthier weight. She spoke of Globesity and how 2 of 3 Americans were overweight. Just this simple act of getting to a healthy weight, could help eliminate many preventable health issues we are facing today. We can in effect and quite possibly create a positive social change from some huge frightening statistics against a greater risk of strokes, cardiovascular disease,, hypertension, and type 2 diabetes. If we continue growing at our current pace, an estimated half of Americans will be obese by 2030, no health care plan or economy will be able to survive that social and economic disaster. Dr. J. called for a commitment and I was ready. I hated getting my picture taken, if you look at my families pictures, I am not in them. Every year I dreaded looking at the pictures taken of me at Global Conference or the trips to all the beautiful locations when I should be wearing bathing suits and sundresses without dread. The hard question I had to face first, how can anyone take me seriously in my industry if I wasn’t willing to walk the walk. The real hard part was facing the fear that I had tried so many other weight loss plans, I was afraid that my own company would be the same result, or worse yet that I would let myself down yet again. You see, we moms are very good at taking care of others, but for real balance, we need to be healthy to be able to take care of others, so that’s where we should start, loving yourself, feeling good, sexy and being a example for your kids. Your marriage or relationships will benefit, your kids will benefit and you will be a better you, a happier you. Even your work or business, your boss and co-workers will see someone that they will be drawn to. Did you know that the average woman attempts weight loss 4 times a year? Roger Barnett called this industry the panty hose business. How would you like to have the next time you decide to do something, it would be the last time, because you are successful? Having all the tools, supports, science to change your lifestyle, not just feed (no pun intended) into an industry doomed to fail, so they continue to have repeat clients? I am going to take the next few confessions to share my journey of transformation in hopes that I will be able to help other moms, fathers, even teenagers get to a better place. I will tell you that the scale is not my main measurement, because muscle weights more than fat, it was the way my pants started falling off me. Since September I have lost 27 pounds and I am still going, at the end, no let me rephrase that, as I share my after and after after story I will post my pictures in hopes of inspiring others like Laura Evans did for me. So even if you are sexy, lean and healthy like my friend Ginger, maybe you know someone that could benefit from this, please past this link along. I may be slow, but I now know It begins with one person…me.

Confession No. 20: I am not in Control

I know it has been a while since my last confession. The past year, I decided to go a more direct route since online is not the right place for all my confessions. Don’t worry they were kind of boring, nothing juicy. You have heard the saying ”if you want to make God laugh, make a plan”. So if you have even read any of my postings you know I had a vision, a plan for my life, my future. Life has a way of reminding you that you are not in control of all things. The beauty of such a journey and my confession for today are that I am better for it. True growth comes not from the adversity, but with the actions and decisions you make in the midst and to follow the bump. My life has gone through a transformation in just about every way in the past year. It is always easy to look back in the rearview mirror and see things that you stuffed away, ignored or denied. For years, the wind was changing, many external, the economy, and shifts of influence and there was a hole in my life that I was trying so hard to fill with things, activities and escapes. Even the things that were right were thrown off balance by the hole. Its only natural to seek equilibrium eventually and some things seem to suffer. For true peace we need a balance of priorities of being a good mate, mother, work, body, mind and soul. From an outsider’s perspective, I would look ridiculous complaining, a husband who appeared to the world that he was dedicated and loving, two beautiful children, two businesses, all the worldly possessions, extravagant trips. I worked really hard to keep that picture up for all around me. It kept me from looking at the real picture. This past year, Daniel and I decided to end our marriage after 24 years. It was not that we didn’t try to save the family we built; we worked for over 5 years with a therapist to help us come back together. Finally there was not enough to keep going. We were hurting each other and our children were caught in the rollercoaster. It does not matter the fault, the blame. Behind the picture, was chaos and people just trying to hang on. I relate to the process of making homemade mayo, or aioli. You start with an egg white, and then add olive oil. So many things can go wrong, and if you don’t have enough egg white, it won’t be solid. Sometimes, with two people you can just run out of egg white. Since our marriage ended, I have taken the time to reflect, cry, get angry, forgive, heal and the parts of me that I love have resurfaced and the past is just that. The plan of our family has changed, it will be different, not sure how it will turn out…but I know that the opportunity is there for many great memories that have yet to happen. I don’t spend energy worrying now, about how it will be, because I love my life, each day is such a blessing. I have learned how to live today and that peace is amazing. My days are filled with reaching out, being thankful, trying each day to do some random act of kindness. I am honoring the body I was given by exercising and thinking about what I am putting in it. I spent time each day to be still, and just be. Before, life was so chaotic that I couldn’t be the parent I wanted to be. This priority is back in place. My family and friends around me are enjoyed and valued; I can now be there for them as they were there for me when I needed them. What matters is that the family deserves to have peace, and respect. My kids see me happy now, and they have peace. A friend recently said to me that the highest degree of respect to someone is when a person is themselves and is responsible, honest, forthright and caring in their communication. This posting is just that, so in my personal life, and with my business, that is my commitment. So I confess that I am not in control, no big deal…life will unfold. We will laugh, love and share as it unfolds.

Confession No. 19: Fear is a bad habit!

Fear is something we have learned from childhood, I remember going through a stage when I thought the boogie man was coming and I would die, I kept a nightlight on as a young child. Then I feared my parents would die and we would have no one to take care of us. Years later, my brothers played tricks on me scaring me in the dark basement or with a broom figure outside my window. Then middle school engulfed me and I feared acceptance and struggled with body image, this transmuted into high school when I still had braces and my nickname was "spider" because I was all arms and legs. I know this is not life changing stuff, it is actually quite mundane. You see that is exactly what haunts me to this day. I fear the average, being mediocre. Fear is a bad habit that will limit you, stifle you which makes my biggest fear a reality. Whenever fear has gotten into my subconscious and taken a bit of real estate has been periods of my life when I no longer moved forward, sometimes even moved backwards. But nothing is more unsettling to me than side steps. We have always been risk takers, that is life's adrenaline. I can handle steps back as long as I can see a leap forward in the horizon. A good exercise when any fear attempts to invade, think about if this was your last days on earth, would you take the same action? Think about a time in your life when you had nothing, and nothing to lose. Act, with prudence, but act soon fear will be an old habit...one that you leaped past!